fandomassistant | TA Lounge: Monday.

"Actually," Kiki answered quietly, "I don't have any illusions about Mr. Crowley. I know who he is, what he is, and what his job is. But he is still my friend, and I am loyal to him, as much as I am loyal to Phoebe."

Kiki sighed a little and sat back in her chair, her hands folded in her lap. "Don't you think," she said after a moment, "that you're paying Phoebe a rather gross insult by saying that? You are, essentially, telling her that you don't trust her, you don't trust her judgement, and you don't think that she's incapable of thinking, deciding, or choosing for herself. I understand you want to protect her, but when that crosses the line into condemning her as incompetent, then there's something very wrong with the situation. Do you think Phoebe is incompetent?"

"She signed a contract without even knowing what it said!" Bel said, throwing up his hands. "What do you call that? If you answer 'wise' or 'smart,' then you're wrong. Now she's supposed to marry the man who tried to kill me and keeps stripping her clothes off against her will -- and I'm supposed to like it?"

"Irresponsible, perhaps," Kiki suggested mildly. "Or alternately, a mistake. We're human. We make them. A mistake does not equal incompetence. But humans also have this thing called 'honor.' And Grace. Phoebe is lucky enough to have both, each an intrisic part of the other. You want her to break her contract, to renege on her word, to sacrifice her honor by breaking her agreement. If she does that, then she loses some bit of Grace. Of course her doing that would make you happy; she'd be expressly choosing you over Mr. Crowley. But she would be upset with herself, for loosing that bit of honor and Grace, even though she willingly gave it up for you. In the meantime, Mr. Crowley would be quite pleased, I imagine, that he had at last caused that fall, no matter how small, in Phoebe."

"So what," Bel snapped, "since you seem to know everything, am I supposed to do? Walk the bride down the aisle?"

Kiki bit her lip. This wasn't going as well as she'd hoped.

"No, I didn't say that," Kiki answered softly. "As for the problem of that contract, I have no idea how to solve it yet. But antagonizing Mr. Crowley and continuing to punish Phoebe for the mistake she made is making the situation worse, not better. I know Phoebe's hurting now; she has been for a while. And I understand - or am starting to - how hurt you are, as well. Why not try to actually work together to solve these problems, rather than against each other?"

"I burned the damn contract, it's a moot point now," Bel said. "Yet she still goes to him. I swear, one more time and it's over between us. She made me make a choice, now I want her to make one, too. It's all about free will, isn't it? She's giving hers up, and that's more of a 'fall from grace' than anything. She's playing right into his hands. And she just won't realize it."

He sighed, putting his face in his hands. "Look. I love her. With all my soul. But she's killing me with her actions. It needs to stop."

Kiki silently mulled this over, her chin in her hand. "Burning it might not make it physically exist, but to Phoebe's sense of honor, it still does. To Mr. Crowley, it certainly does."

After another moment, something he said nagged at her brain. Raising her head, she looked at Bel curiously. "What choice did she make you make?"

"Between her and my best friend," he said. "Between the human and the demon. I'm gonna get killed for her and my reward is watching her marry someone else."

"You have a terribly pessimistic outlook on life," Kiki observed neutrally. "Is your death so very certain? Is her marriage so very certain? Neither has happened yet, and they're not fixed events. They can be changed. It just requires a little bit of rational thought and planning."

If Bel looked closely, he could probably have seen the gears start turning in Kiki's head.

Bel shrugged. "Nobody crosses the Source and lives. I don't know why I'd be so special as to get away. Sooner or later...." He sighed. "As for the wedding, she doesn't seem to be doing much to stop it. Nothing she's told me."

"The Source? This Source of All Evil you mentioned before, right? If no one crosses it and lives, then why bother fighting it at all?" Kiki asked in a tone of voice that said it was more a question for Bel to contemplate later, rather than something she didn't actually understand.

"Phoebe does feel, I think, like her hands are pretty much tied. I think she would like it if you did help her figure out a way to help her get out of this marriage that didn't involve her sacrificing herself, her honor, or her Grace as opposed to her feeling condemned on all sides. Also," Kiki added, biting her lip in thought, "getting out of this wedding deal might not be something either of you can accomplish on your own. Or even together."

She took a breath. "I'm going to see if I can't work some of the details about this situation out of Mr. Crowley."

Bel shook his head. "There is no honor in being tricked. There is no Grace in accepting treachery or giving up your free will. That's the point you two are missing."

Drawing up sharply, Kiki inhaled a long breath of realization. "That's it," she said softly, almost to herself. She looked over at Bel. "It's easier for you to believe that she has been tricked all along and has given up her free will than it is for you to consider that she might be doing this because it is her choice, isn't it?"

Kiki dug her fingers into the cushions of the couch and waited for the fireballs to start flying.

"She didn't know what she was doing!" Bel snarled. "Giving herself over to Crowley? How the fuck is that supposed to protect me? All it's done is hurt me. That's all. So her little "mistake" has backfired, and I'm tired of it. It's her choice to marry Crowley, and if she makes that choice, then there's nothing left between us."

"She didn't know then," Kiki agreed, "But she does now. Which is the real reason why it hurts so much, isn't it? She's made the choice to uphold the contract. Although you see it as one and the same, that is not the same thing as her choosing to marry Mr. Crowley. But," Kiki said with quiet resignation, "if you are so ready to throw away everything you had because of her mistake and her decision to honorably accept the consequences of her mistake, then there really is nothing left between you."

"You're both idiots," Bel said in disgust. "Demons don't have honor. Crowley's already broken the terms of the contract. The only place it exists is in her head -- and yours, too, apparently, since you're on the 'accept the consquences' train. You think you can deal with a demon with honor? Think again, little girl. But if you want to play games with the big bad demon, be my guest. Just don't be surprised when you get burned.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Bel said, and stormed out of the room.

"And again," Kiki murmured out loud as the door shut behind him, "the spoiled child throws a temper tantrum. There goes demon without honor or humanity, exhibit A."

She shook her head, feeling sorrier for Phoebe than ever, and took up her spellbook again.

TA Lounge: Monday.

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period

Re: Fourth Period